IMPOSSIBLE TONGUE TWISTERS:
WORD RAID (for E.E. Cummings)

by Kenneth King

THE CHEAP SHEIKH AND THE CHIC SHAH SEEK TO SPEAK AT A SECRET SPA ((THE CHEAP SHEIKH AND THE CHIC SHAH SEEK TO SPEAK CHEEK-TO-CHEEK AT A S-E-C-R-E-T SPA))…

(Heavy Slavic/Hungarian)

***

THE SHEIKH’S SLEAZY SNEAK SWEEP IN SLUSH AND SLEET OF THE SHINY SLEEK SLEEPING SHEEP IS THE SPICY SPEAK OF SHEEEET STREET...

(Heavy Slavic/Hungarian)

***

A SPIFFLY CLIPPED HIP AND STRICTLY TIGHT-LIPPED CRYPTIC SCRIPT IS SIMPLY SIFTED AND SIPPED THEN ON A TIMELY TIP SLIPPED ON A SECRET SHIP ADRIFT A THRIFTY TRADE TRIP THEN SWIFTLY STRIPPED AFTER A STIFF SHIFTY RIFT BY TWO TONGUE-TIED TIFFED AND MIFFED TWIN NIT-T’WITS! (TO: WIT...)

***

A SHIVA’S SHINY SHUNTED SHEAVES ACHIEVE THE DARING DAIRY DEED OF CLEAVING TO THE SHINY CHEESY SHREDDED CHEATING SEEDY SLEEVES OF SLEAZY SEETHING SLEEPY THIEVES FROM THEBES...

***

NEFERTITI’S NEAT NEW ESOTERIC EDEN EATERY ETCHED IN KITSCHY KINKY GRAPHIC GRAFFITI EAST OF THE GREAT GREEK CONCRETE CRETE CREEK IN TROPICAL TAHITI BY THE GLEAMING GREEN TEA SEA WITH SCREAMING SLEEK SCENERY GREETS THE BLEARY WEAK AND WEARY WITH A WAFER AND A TREATY…

(British)

***

THE CLIQUEY CHIC BLEAKLY STREAKED FREAK BOUTIQUE SELLING PETE’S STEEP SLEEK HOMEMADE PETITE PEAK PEKOE PEE TEA TEAK REAL CHEAP IN CHEEKY MOZAMBIQUE SPEAKS TO THE WEAK TWEAKED BEAK OF A SNEAKY SNEEZING SQUEAKING SHEIKH AND (CREAKING) SCREECHING S-T-R-E-A-K-I-NG GREEK’S MEEKLY REEKING (BLEEPED) BLEAK OBLIQUE COMIQUE...

***

NIMBLY NIBBLING AND NUMBLINGLY NODDING THEN SNOBBISHLY PLODDING HOPPING COPPING HOBBLING AND SLOBBERINGLY HOBNOBBING WITH EGG NOG AND A SOGGY WATERLOGGED CORN COB THE SLIP-SHOD CLOD CODDLED CLOBBERED AND CLOGGED THE CON OR COD IN GARBO’S CARGO’S COCKLED COBBLED GARDEN’S GARBLED CARPETED CARBON COG JOB FLOGGING A BOTTLED GLOB OR BOGGLED HARDBOILED GARGOYLED BLOB IN BROWN BOONDOGGLED JOGGING GOGGLED GARB.

(Cockney/British)

***

XERXES ZERO-DEGREE XEROX ZIPS ZIG-ZAGS AND Z-O-O-M-S ZEALOUSLY THROUGH ZENOBIA WHILE ZENO‘S ZESTY JESTING ZAFTIG ZEBRA AND XYLOPHONE ARE Z-A-P-P-I-N-G ZEN’OPHOBIA....

***

SELECTIVELY KEPT S-U-S-P-E-C-T AND ANTICSEPTICALLY SWEPT WITH SHINY SEARING SALTY SWEAT WHILE SECRETLY CRAVING CRUETS AND CREPES SARA AND CLARA SLEPT IN THE SAHARA THEN ADEPTLY CREPT SKEPTICALLY SCHLEPPING SHEP’S SCHWEPPES UP STEEP STEELY STONY STEPPES...

(British)

***

THE KOO-KOO CUCKOO’S SLEW OF CHEWED STEWED SKY BLUE SKEWERED HIGH CLUES ON THE RUDE OVERDUE RUE RUE RUE RUE RUSE OF “WHY I DO HAIKU ON TOP OF A CHOO-CHOO” INSTEAD OF IN (AN) IGLOO HYPES (THE) HIDE IN I DO INTO A WRY WIRED EYE GLUE HE FLEW YOU TOO...

(Nasal, high-pitched Chinese)

***

A TORMENTED MENTOR MADLY TORN BETWEEN THE RENT THE RENTED SCENT THE SCENTED RENT THE C-E-N-T-E-R THE SENDER AND THE ASCENDED CENTAUR WHO SENT HER SAYS “IT S T I L L MAKES A DENT IN DO OR DIE”...

***

IN VERSAILLES AT A WILD AND WICKED TRYST A THICK-WRISTED TWISTED SISTER ADDICTED TO GLITZ AND GLITTER WITH WISPY SWISHY WHISKERS WEARING WACKY KNAPPY WICKED LIQUEURED WICKERED KNICKERS IS THROWN INTO A TAWDRY TIZZY OF TITTERS BY A TOUGH THORNY TONGUE TWISTER AS SHE WHISPERS TO A SICK SITTER A STICKY SLICK PSYCHO SIZZLER WITH A SLYLY WRY SPRITELY WITTY TWITTER IN HER SLIGHT SIGHT (IN V E R S A I L L E S)...

(Deep, guttural British: a shadowy spy)

***

GIVE HER A GRIMMER GRAMMAR RATHER THAN A SLIMMER GLIMMER OF GLAMOUR ((GIVE HER A GRIMMER G-L-I-B-B-E-R GRAMMAR RATHER THAN A SLIMMER GLIMMER OF GLAMOUR))...

(Deep, confiding voice)

***

THE WORLD’S A DRAMA LIKE A TEENY TOT’S CAREENING TEETER-TOTTER UNTETHERING A SCREAMING GLOBAL TROT AND A ZESTY BUT TESTY TEETHING TRAUMA...

(British)

***

ASIDE FROM THE ((S-I-G-H)) SIGN C Y A N I D E IN THE NIGHT SIDE OF THE SHY SIREN’S SLY SNIDE STRIDE SIRING AND SQUIRING HER IRE ASTRIDE THE WILD IDLING SIDLED SLIDE DOWN THE WIDE WIRE IRISH TIDE OF UNTYING THE UNTRIED (TITLED) IDOL SIDE OF THE PSYCHE’S IRON ICON IDE (E-Y-E-D)...

(Whispery but emphatic dream voice)

***

THE BRUTALLY BRASH SPLASHY BRANDY BASH BACK BY THE BLOOMING BRUSH OF THE BLACK BLUSHING BERRY BUSH BRUISED THEN SOOTHES THE BURNT BUNS AND BOOT SOOT ON THE (TRUTH: FORSOOTH!) SMOOTH SUPER SLEUTH’S BAD BARED BLUE SUIT…

(Smooth Southern twang)

***

A GRUESOME TWOSOME WITH SPRUCED BUT TATTERED BOOTS AND A TACKY TROUPE FROM HOUSTON TREKKED THEIR TRAMPY TROUSSEAU SHOW TO TUCSON TO TRY THEIR TRADE OR TRUCE ON...

(Irish brogue)

***

A GAGGED AND BADGERED RAGGED BLACKGUARD BAGGED AND DAGGERED A BRAZEN BRAGGART SWOONED SAGGED AND STAGGERED JAGGEDLY THEN SWAGGERED HAGGARDLY NAGGING A LAZY STRAGGLED LAGGARD...

(Hard, gravelly, deep Irish brogue)

***

THE SEQUESTERED QUEST FOR THE MAD MOD MARRED MOBBED M-A-U-V-E MARKED KEY AND THE QUEASY MARQUIS’ QUIRKY QUEER KIWI QUICKLY QUICKENED QUILTED QUIPS AND QUESTIONS, QUELLING QUERULOUSNESS QUITE Q-U-A-R-A-N-T-I-N-E...

(Affected, snobby: a dandy)

***

A SEXY SUPPLE SWINGING COUPLE’S SLINKY SINGING STRUT SHOVE STUFF AND SHUFFLE CAPPED THEIR NAUGHTY BUT SUBTLE GROOVY GRIND OF SMUTTY NUTTY SNUFF AND UPPERS BUMPTIOUSLY SUMPTUOUS NUPTIAL SUPPER...

(Clipped hipsterese a la Mae West)

***

A SPECTRAL SPARTAN SPATE OF LATE NITE EIGHTY-EIGHTS SCREAM AND CAREEN DOWN SLIGHT SIGHTED SLIDING STREET SCENES SHOWING THE SHEER SHINING STREAMING STEAMY STEAMS OF LIQUID LIGHT-LINED D-R-E-A-M-S...

(British/Irish overlay)

***

LOLITA’S LECHEROUS LITTLE PEEPING PECKER PEEKERS PIQUED AND POOPED WITH PUNK POP AND PUNS POKES THE POST OR PAST PASSED THE POPE’S PORK OF POOR PORT PEORIA’S ORAL ARIA...

(Basso lecher)

***

SUSIE’S CHI CHI SHOE-IN SUSHI (SO WHO’S S H E ??) IS SO SO SO SO S-L-E-E-K AND SHE SPEAKS AND SWEEPS REAL CHIC AND HER SUIT SEAT SQUEAKS (SO TO SPEAK) SO SHOULD SHE SOUS SOUS SLOW SHOW SHOP CHEAP STREAK SLEEK OR SNEAK SLEEP OFF PEAK?? ((SNEAK SLEEP O F F PEAK...))

***

A FLAKY FLEET OF FAT FRATTY FLAT FOOTED FRUMPY FUNKY FREAKY FLUNKIES FRAZZLES A FRANKLY BEDAZZLED FRANTIC FRONT LINE RANK OF REGULARLY WRANGLED RANKLED YANKS FRAYED AND FLAYED BY THE FLASHY FLESH AND FLEECY FLANKS OF FORTUNE…

***

A TITAN? A TITAN IS NOT A T-R-I-T-O-N BUT A TYPE OF WRITIN’ WITH TIGHT T-W-A-N-G-Y LIGHTNIN'!

(Light Irish)

***

My performance of IMPOSSIBLE TONGUE TWISTERS is on my Kenneth King Media channel on YouTube.

IMPOSSIBLE TONGUE TWISTERS:WORD RAID (for E.E. Cummings)

by Kenneth King

THE CHEAP SHEIKH AND THE CHIC SHAH SEEK TO SPEAK AT A SECRET SPA ((THE CHEAP SHEIKH AND THE CHIC SHAH SEEK TO SPEAK CHEEK-TO-CHEEK AT A S-E-C-R-E-T SPA))…

(Heavy Slavic/Hungarian)

THE SHEIKH’S SLEAZY SNEAK SWEEP IN SLUSH AND SLEET OF THE SHINY SLEEK SLEEPING SHEEP IS THE SPICY SPEAK OF SHEEEET STREET...

(Heavy Slavic/Hungarian)

A SPIFFLY CLIPPED HIP AND STRICTLY TIGHT-LIPPED CRYPTIC SCRIPT IS SIMPLY SIFTED AND SIPPED THEN ON A TIMELY TIP SLIPPED ON A SECRET SHIP ADRIFT A THRIFTY TRADE TRIP THEN SWIFTLY STRIPPED AFTER A STIFF SHIFTY RIFT BY TWO TONGUE-TIED TIFFED AND MIFFED TWIN NIT-T’WITS! (TO: WIT...)

A SHIVA’S SHINY SHUNTED SHEAVES ACHIEVE THE DARING DAIRY DEED OF CLEAVING TO THE SHINY CHEESY SHREDDED CHEATING SEEDY SLEEVES OF SLEAZY SEETHING SLEEPY THIEVES FROM THEBES...

NEFERTITI’S NEAT NEW ESOTERIC EDEN EATERY ETCHED IN KITSCHY KINKY GRAPHIC GRAFFITI EAST OF THE GREAT GREEK CONCRETE CRETE CREEK IN TROPICAL TAHITI BY THE GLEAMING GREEN TEA SEA WITH SCREAMING SLEEK SCENERY GREETS THE BLEARY WEAK AND WEARY WITH A WAFER AND A TREATY…

(British)

(Cockney/British)

XERXES ZERO-DEGREE XEROX ZIPS ZIG-ZAGS AND Z-O-O-M-S ZEALOUSLY THROUGH ZENOBIA WHILE ZENO‘S ZESTY JESTING ZAFTIG ZEBRA AND XYLOPHONE ARE Z-A-P-P-I-N-G ZEN’OPHOBIA....

SELECTIVELY KEPT S-U-S-P-E-C-T AND ANTICSEPTICALLY SWEPT WITH SHINY SEARING SALTY SWEAT WHILE SECRETLY CRAVING CRUETS AND CREPES SARA AND CLARA SLEPT IN THE SAHARA THEN ADEPTLY CREPT SKEPTICALLY SCHLEPPING SHEP’S SCHWEPPES UP STEEP STEELY STONY STEPPES...

(British)

THE KOO-KOO CUCKOO’S SLEW OF CHEWED STEWED SKY BLUE SKEWERED HIGH CLUES ON THE RUDE OVERDUE RUE RUE RUE RUE RUSE OF “WHY I DO HAIKU ON TOP OF A CHOO-CHOO” INSTEAD OF IN (AN) IGLOO HYPES (THE) HIDE IN I DO INTO A WRY WIRED EYE GLUE HE FLEW YOU TOO...

(Nasal, high-pitched Chinese)

A TORMENTED MENTOR MADLY TORN BETWEEN THE RENT THE RENTED SCENT THE SCENTED RENT THE C-E-N-T-E-R THE SENDER AND THE ASCENDED CENTAUR WHO SENT HER SAYS “IT S T I L L MAKES A DENT IN DO OR DIE”...

(Deep, guttural British: a shadowy spy)

GIVE HER A GRIMMER GRAMMAR RATHER THAN A SLIMMER GLIMMER OF GLAMOUR ((GIVE HER A GRIMMER G-L-I-B-B-E-R GRAMMAR RATHER THAN A SLIMMER GLIMMER OF GLAMOUR))...

(Deep, confiding voice)

THE WORLD’S A DRAMA LIKE A TEENY TOT’S CAREENING TEETER-TOTTER UNTETHERING A SCREAMING GLOBAL TROT AND A ZESTY BUT TESTY TEETHING TRAUMA...

(British)

ASIDE FROM THE ((S-I-G-H)) SIGN C Y A N I D E IN THE NIGHT SIDE OF THE SHY SIREN’S SLY SNIDE STRIDE SIRING AND SQUIRING HER IRE ASTRIDE THE WILD IDLING SIDLED SLIDE DOWN THE WIDE WIRE IRISH TIDE OF UNTYING THE UNTRIED (TITLED) IDOL SIDE OF THE PSYCHE’S IRON ICON IDE (E-Y-E-D)...

(Whispery but emphatic dream voice)

THE BRUTALLY BRASH SPLASHY BRANDY BASH BACK BY THE BLOOMING BRUSH OF THE BLACK BLUSHING BERRY BUSH BRUISED THEN SOOTHES THE BURNT BUNS AND BOOT SOOT ON THE (TRUTH: FORSOOTH!) SMOOTH SUPER SLEUTH’S BAD BARED BLUE SUIT…

(Smooth Southern twang)

A GRUESOME TWOSOME WITH SPRUCED BUT TATTERED BOOTS AND A TACKY TROUPE FROM HOUSTON TREKKED THEIR TRAMPY TROUSSEAU SHOW TO TUCSON TO TRY THEIR TRADE OR TRUCE ON...

(Irish brogue)

A GAGGED AND BADGERED RAGGED BLACKGUARD BAGGED AND DAGGERED A BRAZEN BRAGGART SWOONED SAGGED AND STAGGERED JAGGEDLY THEN SWAGGERED HAGGARDLY NAGGING A LAZY STRAGGLED LAGGARD...

(Hard, gravelly, deep Irish brogue)

THE SEQUESTERED QUEST FOR THE MAD MOD MARRED MOBBED M-A-U-V-E MARKED KEY AND THE QUEASY MARQUIS’ QUIRKY QUEER KIWI QUICKLY QUICKENED QUILTED QUIPS AND QUESTIONS, QUELLING QUERULOUSNESS QUITE Q-U-A-R-A-N-T-I-N-E...

(Affected, snobby: a dandy)

A SEXY SUPPLE SWINGING COUPLE’S SLINKY SINGING STRUT SHOVE STUFF AND SHUFFLE CAPPED THEIR NAUGHTY BUT SUBTLE GROOVY GRIND OF SMUTTY NUTTY SNUFF AND UPPERS BUMPTIOUSLY SUMPTUOUS NUPTIAL SUPPER...

(Clipped hipsterese a la Mae West)

A SPECTRAL SPARTAN SPATE OF LATE NITE EIGHTY-EIGHTS SCREAM AND CAREEN DOWN SLIGHT SIGHTED SLIDING STREET SCENES SHOWING THE SHEER SHINING STREAMING STEAMY STEAMS OF LIQUID LIGHT-LINED D-R-E-A-M-S...

(British/Irish overlay)

LOLITA’S LECHEROUS LITTLE PEEPING PECKER PEEKERS PIQUED AND POOPED WITH PUNK POP AND PUNS POKES THE POST OR PAST PASSED THE POPE’S PORK OF POOR PORT PEORIA’S ORAL ARIA...

(Basso lecher)

SUSIE’S CHI CHI SHOE-IN SUSHI (SO WHO’S S H E ??) IS SO SO SO SO S-L-E-E-K AND SHE SPEAKS AND SWEEPS REAL CHIC AND HER SUIT SEAT SQUEAKS (SO TO SPEAK) SO SHOULD SHE SOUS SOUS SLOW SHOW SHOP CHEAP STREAK SLEEK OR SNEAK SLEEP OFF PEAK?? ((SNEAK SLEEP O F F PEAK...))

A FLAKY FLEET OF FAT FRATTY FLAT FOOTED FRUMPY FUNKY FREAKY FLUNKIES FRAZZLES A FRANKLY BEDAZZLED FRANTIC FRONT LINE RANK OF REGULARLY WRANGLED RANKLED YANKS FRAYED AND FLAYED BY THE FLASHY FLESH AND FLEECY FLANKS OF FORTUNE…

A TITAN? A TITAN IS NOT A T-R-I-T-O-N BUT A TYPE OF WRITIN’ WITH TIGHT T-W-A-N-G-Y LIGHTNIN'!

(Light Irish)

IMPOSSIBLE TONGUE TWISTERS:
WORD RAID (for E.E. Cummings)